Who are these people? What is their purpose? And who the Hell pays for them? Seems we do! The latest case of "We know best" masquerading as the oldest of chestnuts, Health and Safety, have decided that pint glasses are far too dangerous. The Home Office, no less, has drafted in so lavishly remunerated no doubt, consultants to design a plastic vessel for drinking our beer out of in pubs. The excuse is a statistic that claims there are 87,000 violent incidents involving the glasses, that result in £100 million pounds being spent by the NHS. It appears our Government have declared war on the traditional pint pot.
But it got me thinking. Where the devil did they get their £100 million figure from?
That means, on average, every glass wounding cost our health service £114.94. Seems rather a lot per wounding if you ask me. Does the 87,000 claimed assaults include those bottled outside pubs and clubs? Because a bottle is not a glass, is it? Or are we to get plastic bottles as well? How many of the perpetrators are sent to jail, or even caught and prosecuted? And just how likely are you to meet the jagged edge of a pint? It is estimated that there are 126,000,000 pints pulled every WEEK in Britain. That means there 6,552,000,000 pints served a year. Just over six and a half billion, give or take. By my reckoning, that means you have a 1 in 75,310 chance of being harmed, per beer you drink. Of course the odds drop considerably if you choose to drink in Lloyds Number One bar in Shipley town centre. But if that's where you decide to drink, then you pretty much deserve what's coming to you...
So too my mind, the numbers just don't add up. But then there is the taste. God knows a pint costs enough these days, but having to drink it out of a plastic beaker? We have all had to drink out of one before, at outdoor festivals, football grounds and the like, and it just doesn't taste the same. And I know it's not just me, have you ever heard anyone pipe up "Mmm, I sure wish my local would get rid of all their glasses and start using plastic one's"? Have you bolloxs. They are also less environmentally sound. Plastic takes decades, and in some cases centuries, to bio-degrade. But then there may be an ulterior motive for the push to outlaw the pint glass. Maybe they are hoping to eradicate all the injuries caused by spilt beer. Not slips and falls, but all the fights caused by the accidental knocking of strangers brews. If we had plastic containers, they could easily put lids on them. Like the Tommy Tippy ones loved by toddlers. They could even have those little clips inside, that regulate the amount of fluid that can be drunk in any one tipping action. Then at 9 o'clock they could send round a bearded, vegetarian, lesbian do gooder, to gently burp us, and send us home to bed. I should be careful what I post here, it may well give them ideas.
Yet again it seems yet another simple pleasure is being targeted by the number crunchers in Westminster. Instead of punishing the Neanderthal dim wits who can't handle their booze, it is instead the law abiding millions that will have yet anther freedom eroded. They don't even consider what the clowns will use on each other instead. Will all stools and seating need to be clamped to the floor? Or will they gather up loads of the plastic cups, ram them together, and form a rudimentary club? I tell ya, if it wasn't for the tax revenues, they would ban alcohol in a heart beat.... Stop the Nonsense!!!!!!!!!
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