Stop the Nonsense

A new survey published today, showed the UK to have the third worst teenage binge drinking problem in the European Union.  Of course this meant that all day, we had to listen to po faced doctors and professors tell us about the graveness of the situation, and offer up a strategy to curtail this "epidemic."  Was it tightening up the law, that just so happens to prohibit drinking alcohol under the age of eighteen?  Maybe it was a call to withdraw the license to sell booze from establishments that flout the law and sell to the under-age?  I am afraid neither of these common sense solutions was mentioned, not even once, by any of the boffins.  Nope, only one action was acceptable.

Isn't it grand to know, that during these financially difficult times, we can rely on our councils to spend our diminishing money so wisely?  How on earth did the good people of Tower Hamlets ever manage without a "Principal tobacco control officer" to patrol the streets, hectoring law abiding smokers about the dangers of their habit?  Of course such an important role deserves to be well remunerated.  £40,000 a year to be exact.  Money well spent I am sure.  Not to be out done though, is this pearl, from the government office for the south east.  This quango is unable to function without something called a "Team leader in Spatial Strategies."  If you are wondering exactly what this post entails, it is "to drive the government office's role in the strategic spatial planning of the region."  I also have absolutely no idea what the hell that last sentence means either, but the post carries an annual salary of £58,000.  Nice. 

Been put on short week at work? Had your pay reduced? Waiting to be made redundant? Can't find work? Fear not! Follow these simple steps, and you too could be earning in excess of £20,000 a year. First up, settle yourself down in front of the telly and make sure your telephone is to hand. Next, store all the local take aways phone numbers into your mobile. get rid of any sporting equipment, and toss out any fruit and vegetables that happen to hanging around, replacing with fizzy pop, cakes and crisps.